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  • Writer's picturesharimeeks

I Choose Cupcakes

Dear Bondurant Fellowship Family,

This was originally written in 2019. One year after my sweet daughter took the hand of Jesus. Today is known in the Meek's household as Cupcake Day. Today marks the 6th year that we have celebrated Tessa's heavenly birthday.

You may not have known Tessa in the flesh, but if you have participated in any Bondurant Fellowship event (even before it was ever known as BF), you have certainly met her influence. I personally know her influence as she worked side by side with the Lord for 3.5 years to teach me about a God who truly desires relationship. She was the catalyst - helping me learn and understand what it means to listen and obey...a practice I have resolved in my heart to continue to this day. Her influence to this day cannot be captured in words, just as there are not enough pages to write out Jesus' miracles.

What's amazing is at the end of this original piece I talked about the harvest. Well, the harvest continues. Since I wrote this in 2019, Tessa's big brother gave his life to Christ. Tessa inspired the work of Bondurant Fellowship, an active ministry in Tessa's hometown of Bondurant, WY. This ministry continues to touch hundreds of lives at Christ-centered events such as IF:Gathering, the fall Hootenanny, Bible Studies, Youth Group, and so much more. In 2023, we celebrated two baptisms on Easter. Oh, if we only realized the ripple effect of our existence.

I pray blessings upon you all today. An I pray you get to take a moment to reflect on the ripple effect. Maybe even while having a cupcake...

From 2/4/2019

Dear friends - I would be lying if I told you haven't re-lived the events of this past weekend. Starting on Friday evening, I could recall the very moments of flying out of Jackson and into Salt Lake City- the lights of the airport, the ambulance driver (that had driven us once before), the nurses in the PICU. I would be lying if I told you that yesterday in church, I wasn't reliving the sermon preached a year ago last Sunday...that the first song we sang this Sunday was the prayer I constantly begged God for just a year ago...just a little more breath in her lungs...I would be lying if my heart didn't skip a beat at 2:47 this afternoon, just moments ago.

I would be lying if I told you Tessa didn't cross my mind at 2:47 pm today, as I remembered her last sighs, her last breath. The roller coaster of emotion. The weeping. The peace. The joy. The very presence of angels in that room with us. I would be lying if I told you I was numb to it all as I remembered Tessa taking the hand of Jesus on February 4th, 2018.

These moments are etched in my brain. But they do not overrule the moments where Tessa shined. Where she made every moment count here on Earth. These last moments were sacred because it is the one place where I know that I know that I know Christ was there with our family. His very arms holding us.

Tessa lived a life of significance, just simply by being. She didn't have to say a word to change the hearts of men. Her hand print, her fingerprints, held a special pattern that no other person will replicate. No other person has been given the purpose and destiny that Tessa had (and continues to have here). No other person, for that matter, can replicate your purpose and destiny either.

The world wants me to be swallowed up in grief, to stay bound by the moments of letting go...the moments of grief and cry and be covered in darkness. There is certainly a force out there that would love to see me and my family chained by the "I wish I would have's" and "What if we would have made that call differently".

But I say "NO". Not Today. Today I choose cupcakes. I choose to celebrate Tessa's life instead of grieve it. I refuse to mourn over her death, because I know that she is surrounded by the ultimate freedom and life. She is today, where my spirit longs to be.

So celebrate with me Tessa's existence. Let's celebrate the harvest of her life.

*Over 600 people were in attendance for Tessa's Celebration last February. In the words of Pastor Mike, "Tessa never spoke a word, and yet you are all here".

*Daddy got baptized.

*Noel still puts money in Tessa's piggy bank.

*Megan, one of Tessa's care providers, changed her major to Occupational Therapy because of Tessa.

*We partnered with Just Do What Matters, where Tessa's story was shared with 50 lucky barrel racers at their annual fundraiser in Arizona...Tessa's Testimony is now in book form to share the light of Christ through her existence.

*Over 3000 people have viewed Tessa's Triumph and Bruised Reed, receiving the Word and basking in the light of Tessa's life.

*The sharing of Tessa's life through speaking engagements at women's retreats.

Just one little girl with a "smile that could bring Goliath down", living a hometown of less than 100 residents. That's all it takes for God to change the hearts of men. If God can work through Tessa, God can work through you.

Let's celebrate.

Let's choose cupcakes.

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